| Dressed in black suits and skirts, Realmians snuck down through the squid llama caverns. Their weapons were the bones of the eaten squid llama, that they’d barbecued on the beach because it had pleaded to be eaten rather than discovered as a traitor. Everyone had been all too happy to oblige. The starter had been the parrot, because it had dared to sing Britney Spears’ "Boys". Now, licking barbecue sauce off their fingers, they advanced down the tunnels. The squid llamas raised their heads inquisitively at the sound of their arrival. But they were no match for the starving Realmians. With a roar, Realmians raced forward, armed with knives and forks, and lashings of barbecue sauce and set upon the hapless animals. "Oy!" an army of inspectors marched forward in a long line across the cavern. "Oy! Oy! Oy!" They said it in a brainwashed automaton way. "Goodness gracious," Tessadragon whispered, wide eyed. "It’s the Nature Preservation Society!" The Nature Inspectors stomped to a halt. "Squid llamas are protected," they chanted. "Squid llamas are protected." Realmians guiltily dropped the leg bones they were barbecuing over small fires. "That’ll be a fine of £200," the inspectors began chanting and resumed marching forward, their hands outstretched for money. Fury reignited. "We spent the last of the money on the brownie mixture that Mac nicked!" "I’ve still got to pay the electricity bill!" And hundreds of other explanations of how they refused to pay the fine. "Charge!" Flower and Kat yelled. Hundreds of Realmians (and Moatians, who’d come along for the ride) raced forward and swarmed over the Nature Inspectors. "Fines!" the crushed, drowning Nature Inspectors screamed. "Endangered! Donations welcome!" And then all was silent. The Realmians and Moatians headed onwards, to where UFOs hovered over them with blinking disco lights. Elvis Presley had been kidnapped again, and had decided to revert to joining Mac’s side. Now he assaulted the Realmians and Moatians with "You ain’t nothin’ but a hound dog". A Realmian set six Alsatians on Elvis Presley. As he fled, he screamed, "thank you very much!" "Operation ET phone home!" Mer and Kat called out. Flower, Kat, Mer and JD took their mobile phones out and speed dialled. From behind them swarmed in operatives from BT, AOL and all other major phone companies all over the world, armed with phone bills for the aliens. "ET phone home at peak time," Tessadragon said smugly. "NOoooo!" the aliens shrieked and began committing suicide. The Realmians moved forward through the cavern, stepping over slain aliens. Hundreds of elephants snoozed in the next chamber. Dumbo and Nelly stood guard. "Hi, is that Disney world?" Flower said brightly into her mobile phone. "I’d like to call that favour in now. Right now." With that, Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse came in. Dumbo and Nelly screamed in sheer terror. Dumbo flew up to the ceiling and crashed head first into it, fell back to the ground unconscious, crushing five baby elephants. All the elephants woke up. Minnie giggled. Mickey guffawed. "AARGH!!!" the elephants screamed and stampeded out of there. And the way into Mac’s secret realm was revealed.... | 
