| Shadow was having a hard time staying aloft, wearing her jet pack, because she was laughing so hard. The tower they'd chosen to climb to escape the six hundred or so JD clones was purple and was made of purple jello. And is jello easy to climb? Hell no. Occasionally Shadow would have to swoop down to rescue them when their grips faltered and they'd otherwise have fallen into the moat below, where the crocodiles were carrying bottles of barbecue sauce. "Help!" Mer shrieked as her grip slipped. Shadow dived down and grabbed her and flew up, just as Mac's grip slipped. "Shadow!" she yelled. Shadow was a little busy though, taking Mer up to the top of the tower, so Mac whipped out her cell phone and screamed into it. A second later a helicopter zoomed from the clouds, piloted by Harm from JAG, who spirited her away to Paris for a candlelit dinner then returned her swiftly and placed her at the top of the tower. Finally the four of them were standing at the top of the tower. A brief Southerly wind blew around them, and for a second they looked like the survivors at the end of Day After Tomorrow or Independence Day, all courageous and cool. Then someone burped and the moment was ruined. "Now why are we up here?" Gob hoblin asked. "We can take the secret rollercoaster from here to the War Room," Mer explained. "Secret?" Mac asked incredulously, pointing at the rollercoaster that was just going through the loop-de-loop: it had sixteen people on it, almost all of whom seemed to be from an entirely different writing group. "Hey, there were cutbacks. I had to find another way to finance the amount of rebuilding we do around here," Mer said. Mac nodded, "Okay." "This is taking ages." Mer resentfully watched the rollercoaster. Round and round the track it went and never seemed to come back to them, just like at a normal theme park. Finally she took a remote control out of her pocket and (not to be done at a real theme park, kids) pressed the Eject button. Immediately there was a number of pops as all the roller coaster seats ejected their occupants through the air and into the waiting jaws of the crocodiles. The rollercoaster coasted back to them, silent and empty. They climbed in and then could hear a noise like-- "Eskimos?" Shadow guessed. "Excuse me..." "Rescue newbies?" Mac suggested. "Excuse me..." "Mushy peas?" Mer guessed. "I said, excuse me! Get me out from under here!" someone yelled from the rollercoaster train's undercarriage. They all looked underneath and found Phantom clinging to the underside of the train. Shadow helped him out, and in exchange he gave her a new Inuyasha pic. "Yay!" Shadow hugged it and jumped back into her rollercoaster seat. "What were you doing under there?" Mer demanded. "Just sweeping all the JD clones off," he said offhandedly, producing a broom and demonstrating it by whacking a Little Mermaid JD Clone off the top of the tower. "So how about getting us out of here?" "Yes," Mer said hastily and the rollercoaster clacked into gear. Shadow thought she saw a Batman-signal-shaped light in one of the windows close to JD's Clone Labs, but no one saw a figure--no I'm not telling you who it was--creeping through the garden, dressed in black and pressing the Roller Coaster Self Destruct Button that was in between the Power Shut Off button and the JD's Laptop Self Destruct Button, which might come in handy later in the story, but I'm not telling you that either. Back to the story. "Yay!" they all yelled as the rollercoaster train picked up speed, careening around the loop-de-loop. "Noo!" they all yelled as the rollercoaster exploded in mid air and they all plummeted towards the ground where they'd all likely go splat unless the author of this story chose to push a big mattress under them to break their fall. The springs were too bouncy and they hurled through the air, landing perfectly on target in the War Room. But someone was already sitting in the big squashy black leather chair... |