TERUMAH (Exodus 25:1 - 27:19) Part 2 - see the Lesson List
“If I am doing correct, why am I still poor or struggling?” And, “If I am thinking positive, why is so much negativity happening to me?” Even though these are two different questions, one pertaining to parnasah (sustenance), and the other to negative events, they are greatly inter-related. One common element is that they both share the “I am.”
To the first question, one must simply ask; “And who said that you are supposed to be rich?” And to the second question one must simply ask; “And who said that you are thinking positive?”
The error is that the poor man presumes that his plate in life should be full. But this also means that he presumes that he deserves to have that which he considers is complete, therefore, he is also aware that his plate is “empty”, incomplete, and this in turn means that his focus is not on his obligations, but rather on what he presumes to lack. At the same time he presumes that he is thinking positive. Can you see the irrationality of this argument?
One cannot be aware of what one does or does not deserve. One cannot look at ones neighbor and “covet,” and say, If he has, I should have because I know that I am a nicer guy than him. This may be true, or it may not. But, it is not our place, thank Heaven, to judge this. For that there are Higher judges. What one can be sure of though is that this is not where ones mind should be. Ones mind should be focused on what one has to do to be productive for Hashem, ones wife, ones children, and ones community. In other words, ones focus should not be on ones presumed lacks, or rather, that which one believe to desire, for example; “I deserve that you treat me better…, I deserve to rest…, I deserve to have money, I deserve a vacation… etc.” When one finishes a task, he should look at the clock and see how many hours are left of his waking day, then he should ask; “Now, what more can I do for Hashem, what more can I do for my wife, what more can I do for my children, what more can I do for my community. If the phrase “I deserve…” comes into my mind, he should know that at that moment he must apply one of the above, thrusting this “I deserve” thought out of my mind. Why?
The answer is simple. I am not, hence, how can I deserve? But I do exist, I can see myself, I have a physical existence and a free choice to please myself? To this the Gemorah says, “the only free choice of man is whether to serve Hashem or serve him not!” In other words, we are nothing more than vessels, little machines which have the ability to work or not. If one gives in to “I deserve” he will soon find out that it is only a tactic of the spiritual gravity. The Yetzer Harah (evil inclination), who only wishes to pull a person down and keep him attached to the earth. The earth is melancholy and self pity, it is heavy and dead. The life that it gives is not it’s own, but rather only a reflection of the Greater Life Force, Hashem. This can be compared to the sunlight which leaves its source, hits the ground, and then reflects off the ground, trying to bounce back up to its source. Of course, it will never reach its source, but while the reflected light is thrust back upward, the ground will shout; “look at my light!” When in truth, it has no light of it’s own. The “I deserve” is what brings a man down into this reflected light, rather than being within the main stream from it’s source. And when a person finds himself being within this reflected light, surrounded on all sides by it’s brilliance, he will also become aware that when he looks around, he will see light all around him, light without direction. He will no longer recognize the true origin of this light. Hence he will say, “I know that Hashem is the God of gods.” In other words, I know that there is a creator, but I am within my own world, and Him I cannot see, He is too great. The man will become trapped from all sides within his own misery, and the source will become hidden. Can any of us truly stand before our Creator and say, “I deserve”?
On the other hand, there is a person who comes to mind, he was down on his luck, and he turned in a business proposal to a potential customer. I told him, “with the help of Hashem you will get it,” to which he replied. “Shhhh… I want to think positive, Hashem is Infinite in His ways, he WILL provide for me. I want to only think positive!” I then asked him, “If that is so, what have you done since the business proposal?” The answer was, nothing! He is too busy thinking positive. I then realized the great misconception of the term “think positive!” It is not the Torah way, and actually many sources can be brought forth, Gemorah Brachot is one which comes to mind, which tell us that we should not depend on miracles from Hashem, but rather we must be working vessels, doing our part CONSTANTLY to keep the creation productive. We must do our mitzvot, concern ourselves for the success of our spouses, children and community, and as the Shemah confirms; if you do your part, your rains will come at the proper time. In other words, you worry about your end of the bargain, and I (Hashem) will worry about your so called problems. What, you think there is a man who actually can do both? Show me a man who worries about both, and actually thinks that he controls both, and I will show you ulcers, disease, strife, tension, etc. There are those, who give charity, and help, that say, “Yes, but in actuality it is “I” who is giving to him, not Hashem. What if “I” was not here?” A person who answers in such a way must also realize that the Divine intervention of help and charity is not only for the sake of the receiver (the one in need), but also it may be for the sake of the giver.
